its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
