why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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