dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
even my farts smell like vagina
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
