just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
