Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
