sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
