I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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