last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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