We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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