I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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