I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
