So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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