I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
