a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
