Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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