Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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