Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
