i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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