Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
