the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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