Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
