That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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