You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
