Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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