So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
