Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
