Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
