Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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