i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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