My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Say something about gay babies.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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