I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
