Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
