You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize