I'm jealous of your bromance
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
