so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
