drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
