it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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