hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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