Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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