My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
