just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize