No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
