So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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