I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
