Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
