$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
