i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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