Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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