so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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