if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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