sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
