If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
