apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
