imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
