Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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