i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
time to smoke my breakfast
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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