you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
