Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
