Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
