either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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