420 ftw
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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