Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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