The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
