i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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