Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
