The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
